Tag Archives: Self Esteem

Taking Back Control

The Help

 

Recently I have been doing more self work. It is time to jump back on my beautiful journey of finding serenity and peace within me.

I have been focussing on understanding my actions and thoughts on a deeper level.

Most thoughts and actions happen without you even being aware, so being mindful of every action and thought is something that is challenging but it has helped me understand why I do certain things.

I recently caught myself feeding into my old demon (ED) while I was at work.

I was filling in for someone and I was trying hard to do my best, but unfortunately I made a mistake and a few employees were a little frustrated.

I’m working on being the girl who brushes it off and says “Ha! Would you look at that, a mistake, better luck next time” but I’m not their yet so my ego got excited and jumped in.

My ego made me feel ashamed, fat, stupid and embarrassed and all I wanted to do at that moment was to go to the gym and lose some weight.

That’s when I caught myself.

I turned to my ED because I felt a rush of emotions and felt I was out of control.

I believe that many people turn to their ED when they are in tough situations because when you start to lose control, you feel like your body is the only thing that you can control.

Every limiting belief that you tell yourself came from someone else pushing that thought onto you.

Most of these thoughts happen when you’re a child because that’s when you are open to trust and believe people.

Let me give you an example.

Let’s call the person in the story “X”.

When I was about seven years old, I told someone I loved very much that I wanted to be a vet. The person laughed and said “hunny, you will never be able to be a vet! You need to get an extremely high mark in the High School Certificate and you simply haven’t got the brains to do it.

Now saying that to a seven year old is undoubtedly harsh but X grew up in a very harsh environment from a small child. X grew up seeing black and white. There is no such thing as dreams or beating around the bush.

So while X had the intention on helping me by saying your best off not setting your standards so high because I don’t want you being hurt if you don’t get the mark you want, I was left to feel stupid.

It was only one conversation.

It was well over a decade ago.

I have been told on countless occasions to get over it. But that is where the limiting belief first started.

Knowing where that belief came from doesn’t mean that I feel anger towards that person but it gives me the opportunity to realise and understand why I keep telling myself that belief as if it were an affirmation so I am then able to let it go.

It may take you a while to think back to where certain beliefs came from but it is only when you find the source you are then able to release it.

I was listening to Coach on Call on Hay House Radio last week and Cheryl Richardson said she was recently talking to a psychiatrist who specialises in children and said that it only takes one sentence to change a child’s path for the rest of their life.

This really shows you the innocence children have and their willingness to trust and believe in you.

Although this gives an opportunity to create limiting beliefs, it also gives an opportunity to fill them up with love, humbleness and positive self esteem. And I believe now is the time to feed your own inner child with an abundance of love and respect.

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts on this in the comments below.

Be kind to yourself,

Lisa xx

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Filed under Body Image, Serenity

The Only Trend Is Happiness

One part of my job role as a makeup artist was to read fashion magazines to keep up to date with the latest trends around the world.

I loved researching the latest trends and what was “hot” for that season.  It didn’t feel like a job or chore, I could do it endlessly and even when I started to move on from makeup I still bought all the magazines to read, as they were something I enjoyed. I also thought they were beneficial by giving advice and tips on self love, fashion, exercise, beauty, relationships and more.

These magazines weren’t benefiting me at all; they were robbing me of my self esteem and influencing me to judge others.

Every single time I saw an image in a magazine I would immediately compare the picture of a photo shopped woman to myself.

I have read many helpful articles in magazines that promote a healthy body image but pictures say more than words, so when an image that accompanies the article is of an unrealistically thin, flawless woman, the article has lost all meaning, I am already distracted and defeated.

Magazines also create body image issues by manufacturing problems that you never once had.
I remember reading an article about a new trend that models were getting done through plastic surgery. It was to remove fat in a certain area, an area that you would never have considered. After I finished reading the article I realised how ridiculous the procedure is, but I still started to be conscious of the area.

I used to thrive on the gossip section, reading all about the stars’ lives and the dramas that went on. It was a time when I could focus on other people’s dramas rather than my own.
This had negativity all over it. Not once did I feel great about reading made up claims and rumours about the stars that drag you in with headlines such as “STARS WITHOUT MAKEUP” and “ CELEBRITY CELLULITE “.

Talking negatively about someone because they have cellulite as if it is forbidden and offensive to be seen with it in public is nothing more than appalling. The majority of women have cellulite regardless of how much they weigh; it’s natural and it’s not something that any of us should feel excluded and unworthy over.

This is the same with showing stars without makeup. It gives you the impression that it’s a crime to be seen without makeup. Some women these days literally refuse to walk out of the door without makeup. The thought of it is overwhelming and stressful to some and the magazines are just feeding this fear.

I thought these magazines were helping me by giving me fashion advice, but they were just making me feel unworthy and unfashionable if I didn’t own a certain item of clothing or not living a life that is cool enough.

Everything was materialistic and I didn’t appreciate the things I had and know what my own personal style really was.

Since January 2012 I have not bought any magazines, I haven’t read them in waiting rooms and I have not even looked at them while lining up to buy groceries.

If one thing has helped me connect more with myself, this would be it:
Not having unrealistic images to compare myself to; not having the pressure of looking a certain way in order to be considered fashionable and focusing on my own authentic life rather than someone else’s life that has been dramatised.

Until there is a magazine that is 100% photo shop free and truly promotes a healthy body image and self confidence, I will not support magazine companies by buying them.

I don’t expect you to give up reading magazines but next time you do be aware of how they are making you feel.

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts on this.

Lisa

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Filed under Body Image, Serenity, Social Pressure