Tag Archives: Children

Taking Back Control

The Help

 

Recently I have been doing more self work. It is time to jump back on my beautiful journey of finding serenity and peace within me.

I have been focussing on understanding my actions and thoughts on a deeper level.

Most thoughts and actions happen without you even being aware, so being mindful of every action and thought is something that is challenging but it has helped me understand why I do certain things.

I recently caught myself feeding into my old demon (ED) while I was at work.

I was filling in for someone and I was trying hard to do my best, but unfortunately I made a mistake and a few employees were a little frustrated.

I’m working on being the girl who brushes it off and says “Ha! Would you look at that, a mistake, better luck next time” but I’m not their yet so my ego got excited and jumped in.

My ego made me feel ashamed, fat, stupid and embarrassed and all I wanted to do at that moment was to go to the gym and lose some weight.

That’s when I caught myself.

I turned to my ED because I felt a rush of emotions and felt I was out of control.

I believe that many people turn to their ED when they are in tough situations because when you start to lose control, you feel like your body is the only thing that you can control.

Every limiting belief that you tell yourself came from someone else pushing that thought onto you.

Most of these thoughts happen when you’re a child because that’s when you are open to trust and believe people.

Let me give you an example.

Let’s call the person in the story “X”.

When I was about seven years old, I told someone I loved very much that I wanted to be a vet. The person laughed and said “hunny, you will never be able to be a vet! You need to get an extremely high mark in the High School Certificate and you simply haven’t got the brains to do it.

Now saying that to a seven year old is undoubtedly harsh but X grew up in a very harsh environment from a small child. X grew up seeing black and white. There is no such thing as dreams or beating around the bush.

So while X had the intention on helping me by saying your best off not setting your standards so high because I don’t want you being hurt if you don’t get the mark you want, I was left to feel stupid.

It was only one conversation.

It was well over a decade ago.

I have been told on countless occasions to get over it. But that is where the limiting belief first started.

Knowing where that belief came from doesn’t mean that I feel anger towards that person but it gives me the opportunity to realise and understand why I keep telling myself that belief as if it were an affirmation so I am then able to let it go.

It may take you a while to think back to where certain beliefs came from but it is only when you find the source you are then able to release it.

I was listening to Coach on Call on Hay House Radio last week and Cheryl Richardson said she was recently talking to a psychiatrist who specialises in children and said that it only takes one sentence to change a child’s path for the rest of their life.

This really shows you the innocence children have and their willingness to trust and believe in you.

Although this gives an opportunity to create limiting beliefs, it also gives an opportunity to fill them up with love, humbleness and positive self esteem. And I believe now is the time to feed your own inner child with an abundance of love and respect.

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts on this in the comments below.

Be kind to yourself,

Lisa xx

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Filed under Body Image, Serenity

I Am Proud Of My Body

Hi all,

Sorry for the lack of posts recently.

I have been extremely busy but will get back into the hang of things very soon!

I am a huge fan of Kate Winslet; always have been but since reading the quote in the above image about creating a positive body image for children, I love her even more.

I admire her talent but most of all I admire the way she treats her body with respect and doesn’t cave into the unhealthy celebrity habits.

It absolutely terrifies me to see young girls being diagnosed with eating disorders and having a negative body image. The age groups for children being affected are getting younger each year.

The days are gone when the only thing you had to worry about when you were eight years old was what Barbie you were going to bring to “show and tell”.

I was actually told last week that eight year olds don’t play with Barbies anymore, they are far too old for that. I am still in shock.

I can’t say I am all that surprised. Everywhere you look there are images of photo-shopped models.

Every second advert on TV is about a new diet or a diet product to try.

The majority of movies have a token fat person that everyone picks on.

Music videos are just soft porn.

And the one thing girls do best when we get together is talk about weight loss and diet.

These are just a few examples of what young children have around them on a daily basis.

I’m not a mother. I do however want to be a mother one day and it breaks my heart to think that my daughter (or son) will be around all of these unhealthy messages.

I understand that we can’t eliminate every negative image and message from kids these days, but I do know that parents have the biggest influence on kids.

I too, have never heard one woman say “I am proud of my body”. I have heard a million times what they hate about their body but never anything that they are proud of.

I don’t blame my mum for never saying that she is proud of her body. My history of my eating disorder didn’t evolve from her. She isn’t one who fixates on her body. In fact I admire the way she has never stressed too much about it.

But I never heard her (or anyone else) say that they were proud of what they had.

Perhaps because we all didn’t want to seem “full of ourselves”.

I once remember my brother saying how awesome his muscles were and we all laughed and told him he had a big head. I can now see why we never spoke about what we liked about ourselves.

Kids have forgotten how to be kids. I see toddlers wearing clothes just like mummy and demanding baby cinnos.

We all give complements to little girls about their appearance. A child shouldn’t care about their appearance! They shouldn’t worry about their figure because they don’t have a figure to watch.

At work, I am around young kids all the time. For a few months I have been mindful of what I say around little girls. I never comment or compliment them on their appearance. I have told them that they are very important and that they have a big heart. I have told them that they can achieve anything they want in life and you know what, their smile was larger than ever and their spirits were high without talking about body image.

I would love to know your thoughts on this.

Did your parent’s relationship with their bodies affect yours?

Be kind to yourself,

Lisa x

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Filed under Body Image, Social Pressure