Connect’s The Word

Hey everyone!

It’s been an embarrassing long time since I have blogged and I sincerely apologise for that!

At the start of January each year I like to reflect what the previous year has brought me.
I list everything as an experience, that way if a negative memory/thought comes to mind I automatically see it as an experience I had that I could learn from rather than a horrible memory.

I experienced many things in 2013 that makes me smile such as; love ( My partner and I got a puppy!), trying new foods, going to new cafes and restaurants, meeting new people, learning, reading new books ect..
I have also had experiences that weren’t pleasant at times but I now can smile about these moments and memories because I know I have learnt from the lessons that were thrown at me.

Another exercise I do each year is to think of a word that I’ll use throughout the year to help me keep focus on my goals. This year I have chosen the word “connect”.
The reason I have chosen this word is because I feel as though my mind and body aren’t connected as much as what I would like them to be.

I’m a highly stressed person and if you are anything like me you would know just how important it is to take a minimum on five minutes out of your day to meditate so your mind calms and your breathing can return back to a normal relaxed state.
In 2013 I stopped doing this regularly and my recovery and health suffered because of it. I now know I can’t use the excuse “I’m too busy!” because lets be honest with ourselves, five minutes isn’t really that long.

Meditating is a great way to turn the ego’s power off and gives your inner self a voice.
Your inner voice will give you all the answers you need, you just need to be patient and willing to listen.
(Patience is something I also desperately need to work on, but let’s not get into that one now)

Sometimes I get frustrated (this is where my impatience comes in fine form) when I meditate and my inner self can’t be heard straight away, but I have learnt that the voice becomes stronger and you begin to feel your intuition and your heart telling you what to do with time and patience, and when you feel that feeling, that my friends is what I call connection!

This year the blog will help gives you tools, insight, recipes, self-assurance, self confidence and health tips that will help every wellness warrior continue on their path to an abundance of health and happiness.

Lisa x

Taking Back Control

 

Recently I have been doing more self work. It is time to jump back on my beautiful journey of finding serenity and peace within me.

I have been focussing on understanding my actions and thoughts on a deeper level.

Most thoughts and actions happen without you even being aware, so being mindful of every action and thought is something that is challenging but it has helped me understand why I do certain things.

I recently caught myself feeding into my old demon (ED) while I was at work.

I was filling in for someone and I was trying hard to do my best, but unfortunately I made a mistake and a few employees were a little frustrated.

I’m working on being the girl who brushes it off and says “Ha! Would you look at that, a mistake, better luck next time” but I’m not their yet so my ego got excited and jumped in.

My ego made me feel ashamed, fat, stupid and embarrassed and all I wanted to do at that moment was to go to the gym and lose some weight.

That’s when I caught myself.

I turned to my ED because I felt a rush of emotions and felt I was out of control.

I believe that many people turn to their ED when they are in tough situations because when you start to lose control, you feel like your body is the only thing that you can control.

Every limiting belief that you tell yourself came from someone else pushing that thought onto you.

Most of these thoughts happen when you’re a child because that’s when you are open to trust and believe people.

Let me give you an example.

Let’s call the person in the story “X”.

When I was about seven years old, I told someone I loved very much that I wanted to be a vet. The person laughed and said “hunny, you will never be able to be a vet! You need to get an extremely high mark in the High School Certificate and you simply haven’t got the brains to do it.

Now saying that to a seven year old is undoubtedly harsh but X grew up in a very harsh environment from a small child. X grew up seeing black and white. There is no such thing as dreams or beating around the bush.

So while X had the intention on helping me by saying your best off not setting your standards so high because I don’t want you being hurt if you don’t get the mark you want, I was left to feel stupid.

It was only one conversation.

It was well over a decade ago.

I have been told on countless occasions to get over it. But that is where the limiting belief first started.

Knowing where that belief came from doesn’t mean that I feel anger towards that person but it gives me the opportunity to realise and understand why I keep telling myself that belief as if it were an affirmation so I am then able to let it go.

It may take you a while to think back to where certain beliefs came from but it is only when you find the source you are then able to release it.

I was listening to Coach on Call on Hay House Radio last week and Cheryl Richardson said she was recently talking to a psychiatrist who specialises in children and said that it only takes one sentence to change a child’s path for the rest of their life.

This really shows you the innocence children have and their willingness to trust and believe in you.

Although this gives an opportunity to create limiting beliefs, it also gives an opportunity to fill them up with love, humbleness and positive self esteem. And I believe now is the time to feed your own inner child with an abundance of love and respect.

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts on this in the comments below.

Be kind to yourself,

Lisa xx

Fight For It!

A couple of months ago I wrote a blog about how I got my period back. I still smile about how ridiculously happy I was that I finally got my period back after all the years I neglected my health to serve a deadly disease.

I was stoked because that meant my body was getting healthy again. I was delighted that I did it naturally. I was thankful that it meant my body will now be receiving more nutrients out of my foods like calcium. But to be honest with you, I was probably more excited about the fact that I wouldn’t have to put on any more weight. I was at the minimum of a healthy weight range for MY body.

My partner would argue with me saying that I still had two more kg’s to put on for the sake of if I were to lose weight due to illness.

I knew what he was saying was correct as many health professionals have said it before and also just out of common sense but I felt I had reached this huge step and I didn’t want anything to rain on my parade just yet.

The next day I got servery sick. Yep, totally blame everyone who argued with me.
I got a horrible stomach bug that lead to gastro. I was literally forcing down cracker and vegemite and any foods I could stomach so I wouldn’t lose weight. I know that when I become underweight my inner demon (ED) becomes stronger so I was determined to not give in.

Anyways, regardless of my efforts I lost the weight I put on.
I had to work hard to gain it back but it took a solid 2 months.

So I started a battle with myself to gain the extra two kg’s. I fought for my health, my happiness and myself worth.

Everyone has the right to be healthy and happy. Every single person is worthy of love and acceptance.
Read that paragraph again: Everyone has the right to be healthy and happy. Every single person is worthy of love and acceptance.
For some reason I was limiting myself all of this.

I am proud to recognise now that two kg’s isn’t just weight that goes onto my thighs. Its 2 kg’s that protects me. It’s a TINY bit more of me to love and accept. It’s really not such a big freakin deal when you put your self worth first and choose to make your health your absolute number one priority.
I’m not going to lie and say that it was an easy choice to accept: to go above my minimum healthy weight for my body. For someone who has suffered from an eating disorder for most of their life that would be very rare. But it is a choice I have made. (One point for me and a kick in the ass for the ED.)

I want to really get through to you today that you have a choice in anything in life. You may not choose to become a victim of an inner demon like an eating disorder but you certainly have a choice to fight and get your health and happiness back.

Every time you look at yourself and you make a harsh comment, fight back and correct yourself by saying that you choose to see love in everything you look at.

It’s not an easy battle to fight every minute of the day but it’s certainly worth it.

Why You Cant Neglect Your Inner Wellbeing

Hey lovelies!

First of all I want to shout out a huge THANK YOU to everyone who showed their support through my last post.

You have no idea how much your comments and kind words mean to me.

Lately I have been a little extremely slack on my blog posts, and today’s post will shed light as to why I haven’t been as frequent as what I would like to be.

One of the things I am currently working on is getting shit done.

Let me explain…

I am a fantastic procrastinator. When there is something that I know needs to be done but I don’t want to do it, I simply put it off.

Apart from the issue that some things never get done, the real problem is that I get so much anxiety about the tasks not getting done. I then create multiple problems within that one task which could have been rectified before any other problems could occur if I didn’t put it off in the first place!

When I’m stressed about certain tasks and issues I tend to change my focus away from it and head towards something much worse; body image.

It’s extremely common for people who suffer/suffered from an eating disorder to slip into unhealthy habits when times are tough.

Usually when you are in a stressful situation, you don’t have much control over it. By listening to ED’s voice and becoming strict with your diet makes you feel like you have at least some control within your life.

It’s important to know that it’s the eating disorder that gives you the false idea that controlling what you eat will help control other areas within your life.

For the past couple of months I have focused a lot more time and effort into my physical health, and haven’t spent enough time on my inner wellbeing.

Don’t get me wrong, I am extremely proud that I have finally reached my goal weight and got my period (you can read about it here) but I found that neglecting the inner health, there is now a build up of emotional work to catch up on so I don’t fall back into ED’s habits.

I am a huge believer that your inner wellbeing is the most important factor when it comes to over-all health. Too often people think that disease and illness come from external factors, but I truly believe that your mind is the biggest influence.

When I write on The Raw Serenity, I feel as though I am brought back to reality. I focus on how I am feeling and what is authentic to me. I tend to respect and listen to what my body is telling me and appreciate everything it has done for me. That is what The Raw Serenity it all about.

If you are a regular reader, you would be aware that at the end of last year I quite all drama in my life.

Only happy and positive people and experiences were welcome in my life. By manifesting this desire I now have a very positive network of friends that help keep negative thoughts at bay but I also find that when I need an instant hit of positivity I go straight to my Pinterest boards.

I find by just looking at my boards that I have created helps bring me back to reality and stops the negativity. I also find some pictures of animals impossible not to laugh at!

My next post is a delicious salad I recently created. It is packed full of flavours, textures and superfoods to support your mind and body.

Be kind to yourself,

Lisa

The Value In Vulnerability

Whoever said vulnerability showed weakness and powerlessness couldn’t have got it more wrong.

Being vulnerable takes courage and bravery to open up and be your own authentic self.

I have always felt a sense of embarrassment about my struggles with ED and depression.

I’d pushed people away and I wasn’t always truthful about my past and I continued to deny that I had/have struggles.

I used to feel that I shouldn’t talk about it to others and felt like my struggles would make people want to run and hide from me. I can now see that the only person running away was me.

Since moving from Sydney four months ago I have met a great group of friends and have also learnt that my fear of being vulnerable showed that I wouldn’t allow people to like me for who I really am. Instead of letting go and accepting my past and the person whom I am today, I was prepared to hold up a guard for my protection and for a decent amount of time.

Allowing myself to be completely vulnerable isn’t something I had thought of doing.

I saw the stigma behind it and wanted no part in it.

I would stick to the rules and ask for advice whenever possible to make sure I didn’t say anything inappropriate or put a foot in the wrong place.

As I have mentioned, this year is about finding my authentic self. Throughout this year I have made huge progress in finding and living in my serenity, but the fear of being vulnerable and being 100% honest in regard to my words is something I now see is what needs to be taken care of.

For the past fortnight I have been an open book. Vulnerable.

People have asked me questions and I haven’t sugar coated any answers.

I haven’t allowed myself to feel embarrassed or apologetic about my past or how I choose to live my life.

I have thrown out the book of rules that contain all the dos and don’ts in what you should do or say in certain situations and relationships. I have taken the time to dig deep and ask what I really want or think I should do, without any social pressure or other influences.

With this decision came a lot more self respect and love towards myself.

It feels as if a weight has come off my shoulders by saying to the universe “This is who I am and I’m not afraid to be me”.

This is the message I encourage all of you say to the universe from today onwards.

Vulnerability doesn’t deserve the stigma. It deserves the recognition of empowerment and self respect.

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts in on this topic in the comments below 🙂

Be kind to yourself,

Lisa x

Serenity In My Sunday: 5 Things I’m Loving Right Now

Happy Sunday lovelies,

Tonight I thought I’d list my top 5 things I’m loving digging at the moment.

I have benefited from all of these and I hope you can too!

 

Bentonite Healing Clay:

 

How did I not know about this years ago?!

When I first researched it, I scrunched my nose up at the thought of drinking clay. This is why I assume so many people don’t know just how beneficial clay is.

A few of the health benefits include:
cleansing the liver, colon and skin.
strengthening the immune system.
balancing bacteria in the digestive tract and it can eliminate parasites, viral infections and more.

The particles in Bentonite clay contain a negative charge that attracts all types of harmful toxins, bacteria, metals and pesticides so they can be eliminated from the body.

I mix 1 tsp into my daily “green” smoothie. You seriously can’t even taste it, so there is no excuse for you not to get involved in this amazing superfood!

 

The China Study:

 

I truly believe that The China Study is the one book that everyone needs to read.
The studies that were performed are so incredibly interesting and shocking all at the same time.

While reading the China Study my inner goddess was smiling on her perch, waving to everyone who has ever told me that I need to eat meat in order to get enough protein and to be healthy.

 

Coconut oil:

 

I have been using coconut oil as a body moisturizer for over a month now and I will never go back!

I was first worried that my skin would feel oily all day but it absorbs so easily and keeps my skin soft and smooth.

Interesting fact about this delicious scented oil is that it contains fatty acids that help prevent fungal and bacterial infection in and on the skin, also decongesting pores.

 

Eliminate Drama:

 

It’s been a year now since I have given up drama. This means drama television, gossiping, reading magazines or even listening to someone who is bitching about someone else.

This has made such a positive difference in my life, but recently I realised that I can created drama towards myself.
I do this by assuming things.

I assume someone is annoyed at me or doesn’t like me. I assume I’m going to fail and I create scenarios in my head that leave me feeling anxious and exhausted by all of the drama I have just created in my head.

This week I stood back and reminded myself that if for some reason someone doesn’t like me, that’s okay. Not everyone is going to like every single person they meet.

I also stoped myself for over-thinking things. It’s important to be in the now!

 

Mamma Mia Body Image Articles:

 

I can’t get enough of the articles that are posted on Mamma Mia in regard to body image and photo shopping.

Mia Freedman was the former editor for Cleo Magazine in Australia but now actively promotes having a healthy body imagine and to ban photo shopping.

I love her support and her dedication to these topics!

 

By Including all of these into one Sunday, made my day pretty damn Serine 🙂

 

I’d LOVE to know what your loving at the moment?

Have you eaten or drank clay before?

Be kind to yourself,

Lisa x

Serenity in My Sunday: Believe in Your Dreams

 

Hey lovelies!

Sorry about the late post. I wrote this last night, as my Sunday resulted in today’s topic.

Yesterday (Sunday) I was talking to a friend about why she gave up her favourite sport.
She was ridiculously good at it and had the potential to go very far in the sport, but most importantly, she thoroughly enjoyed it.

When she told me why she stopped all of a sudden, I was shocked but I could relate. I think many of us can.

Her dad told her that it would be very unlikely to be able to make a career out of her sport or ever compete in the Olympics. I assume this was to protect her from feeling disappointed and hurt if she never reached her goal.

Every time she would say her dream out loud, she was told not to get her hopes up because thousands of people want the same dream; therefore her dream was “unrealistic”.

As a result of being constantly told her dream was unrealistic or that she wasn’t good enough, she started to believe it.

Every time she would think of her goal, she got into the habit of telling herself she wasn’t good enough and that she was stupid to even think of it.

Self hate began and in no time she quit the one thing she loved and formed an eating disorder and depression.

It doesn’t surprise me, but it will always amaze me how words can create such a powerful effect on people’s lives and wellbeing.

Negative words are always louder than positive words, and when coming from someone you love and respect, nothing could be louder.

Perhaps her dad believed he was doing the right thing by trying to protect her from rejection if she never reached her goal.

Forty+ years ago opportunities to fulfil your dreams weren’t impossible but they didn’t have the resources that we have today, so maybe he was saying what he was always told.

One thing he didn’t know was that by saying these comments and by not believing and encouraging her to fulfil her dreams, this caused her a great amount of damage.

After a lot of ground work and having to remove the negative people out of her life, she just started to take up the sport again.

I could not be more proud of her. She is such a strong person physically and mentally.

What I realised is that it is so damn important to never call any goal unrealistic.

We have so many resources these days to be able to do anything we desire if we are willing to put in the hard work and dedication.

Always encourage and support others’ dreams but most importantly believe in your own dreams.

A child or friend may change their mind on their dream job every week, and instead of rolling your eyes or saying it’s very unlikely to get that job, encourage them so they can be the best they can be.

Fight for what you want and who you want to become.

Be kind to yourself,

Lisa

Finding Serenity in My Sunday: The List

Each year I write a list of all of the new experiences I’ve had throughout the year.

It shows how far I have come and also how much I have learnt throughout the year. It’s a great exercise to do for keeping motivated and inspired.

I also find that if I write a negative experience that I’ve had on my list, I begin to view it from a different angle. I now see it as an experience that I have learnt from rather than just a kick in the guts.

I usually do this at the end of each year, but I thought I would start it now and also list some of the things I still want to experience before the year ends.

Looking over my list, I feel quite proud of myself (I’ve also learnt to allow myself to feel proud!)

I have changed my lifestyle, fell in love with green smoothies, saw chia seeds swell before my eyes and spoke to a group of professionals, to give them an insight into living with an eating disorder so they can then help others.

I learnt how to say no and to put my health first.

I have gained a variety of knowledge about the environment, alternative health and the connection between your food and your mind.

My experience list for 2012 is currently 3 pages long. No experience is too small or is less important than the others. I find the little experiences can often count the most. For example, people may think that trying a green smoothie isn’t a big deal, but it has changed my life. I simply cannot go a day without one! (Salivating just by mentioning them)

Here is a picture of the start of my list below:

Some of the things I still want to experience are:

• Trying more foods for the first time (Including brussel sprouts)
• Trying different types of yoga
• Writing a guest post on someone’s blog
• Having a guest on my blog
• Growing a herb garden

In my first post I explained that my chosen word for the year is “authentic “and this is the year that I would work on being my authentic self.

Most of my experiences this year have felt very authentic to me. I have experienced a spiritual connection with myself and a better understanding on spirituality.

I have a better relationship with my body and now listen and attend to its needs – a sense of respect that I now feel towards myself.

My authentic self may not be doing boozy Sunday sessions, but she is sitting in the warm with The China Study in one hand, green smoothie in the other while surrounded by the people she loves most. And that is would what makes her healthy, happy and serene.

Finding Serenity in My Sundays: Cut The Chaos

For a while now I have noticed that keeping busy seems like a competition.

I am constantly hearing people saying how busy they are with work, their kids, social events, study, and correspondence. The list goes on.

Everyone seems to be trying to be superwoman or superman and if you had any time to think what you want to do for the day, your life would sound boring to others or you would feel a hint of guilt by having time to yourself.

Recently an ex (randomly) messaged me asking what I am up to. Although I have well and truly moved on from our relationship , I didn’t want to tell him that it was 11am on Saturday morning and I was still in my flannelette PJ’s. I was reading a book with the intention of doing nothing other than possibly getting dressed by 2pm. The chances of that happening before 2pm were pretty slim.

I replied by saying that I was just rushing to the gym. And after that I had work to do before catching up with a friend.

I felt guilty by sending that text so I thought I’d better live up to my word. Okay, so I didn’t exactly rush to the gym. It was more like going 4 km per hour and my work was replying to emails and keeping up to date with unread blog posts. Catching up with friends meant spending quality time with my dog while drinking hot cacao.

In my defense, it was not my fault by sending a text that wasn’t exactly spot on. I’m a busy woman after all.

He replied but saying a similar thing, but sounding a little busier than I was. He probably had a friend that could talk back to him. He also didn’t need a gym membership with all the running around from one task to another on his calendar. Then again he could have been just lying about being busy (Jerk).

That night, I was pretty satisfied with the day I had, though I would have also been just as satisfied by having a day to finally relax and read in my sexy flanno’s.

Since I have started my wellness journey I still haven’t had a full day where I can stay in my PJ’s and just have some down time.

I have forgotten how to do one thing at a time. I can’t remember the last time I watched TV without doing something else. I can’t sit down and watch a movie without having my Ipad to research a topic or talk on the phone without cleaning my room, writing an email or painting my nails.

Since when did we forget how to relax?

Since when have we become masters of multi-multitasking?

And since when did running around doing 30 things in one day become inspirational?

I remember feeling annoyed many times over some men not being able to do two things at once.

How can they not listen whilst writing a report or sending a text?

How can they not cook a vegetable lasagna while watching the Olympics and talk at the same time?

Even though it will never made sense to me as to why some men can’t seem to get the hang of multitasking, it makes a perfect sense as to why some men don’t multitask.

By having too many things going on at once, creates an overwhelming mess in our heads.

We aren’t focussing and enjoying each moment in our precious lives.

We aren’t giving our loved ones our undivided attention that they deserve.

We aren’t living a life that serves us and makes us the best we can be. Instead we become overwhelmed with commitments that leave us stressed, angry and leaves our bodies toxic.

From being in the beauty industry, I can’t tell you how many times I have heard women feel guilty by having a facial or even having someone wax their brows.

They explain everything that they should be doing instead of being at the salon. By the time are out the door, they haven’t had a chance to relax and enjoy their well deserved break because they feel guilty to be there in the first place!

Is this how we want to live our lives? Is this how we want the next generation of children to live their lives?

I know I want to have a clear mind to do a job correctly.

I want to have a healthy mind, free of guilt and chaos.

I want to enjoy every moment I have with my loved ones, and I also want to treat my body and mind with respect through nourishing it with healthy foods and having down time to relax and revive.

I am now going to be mindful of what I am doing. I will focus and enjoy doing one thing at a time and allow myself to read in my PJ’s at 11am without feeling guilty.

I encourage you to do the same this week.

Start by prioritizing at least 30 minutes into your week to have some down time. Sit and talk on the phone without being on the computer and even having one internet tab on at a time.

This is one commitment that will serve and benefit your mind, body and life.

Do you currently allocate time to relax each week or better yet each day?

Be kind to yourselves,

Lisa x

Finding Serenity in My Sundays: Healthy Mind Program

First off, I want to thank you all for your kind emails and comments about my wellness journey (W.J).

It’s very heart warming to have all of your support.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I feel that it’s time to incorporate the next step of my journey.

I have always been a fan of positive affirmations and have said them for years, though I have never been constant and kept the practice up on a regular basis.

I often promised myself to say daily affirmations. One week after my promise I realised I’ve completely forgotten, didn’t have time or couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I’ve been in this situation many times, but now I feel it’s time to put all of the excuses behind me and follow through!

The reason I didn’t commit to this practice at the start of my W.J. is because focusing on a new eating plan without slipping back is a full time job. Although it may seem easy to some people to include affirmations into their everyday life, it hasn’t been that simple for me.

Although I still feel that fighting my demons is a full time job, I also feel that it’s time to tackle some more.

Saying affirmations in my head isn’t something I struggle with. Saying them in the mirror or out loud or using them within meditation has always been challenging for me.

I have created a program that is fail-proof, so I have no excuse for not continuing with this.

I’m an all or nothing kind of a girl, so my program is deeper than the usual affirmation lessons.

So without further ado, I, Lisa Dunbier, solemnly swear to continue the below program and schedule everyday for a minimum of one month.

I plan to continue on with this program well after the month, but I would like to update you in my W.J.  within a month’s time.

Here we go!

Daily Affirmation Program and Schedule

I will use the same affirmation for the whole day. I will be posting the daily affirmation on Twitter so be sure to follow me (@therawserenity1) so you too can reap the benefits of this wellness practice.

Morning

While standing in front of the mirror, look into your eyes and say the affirmation out loud 3 times.

Mid morning / Lunch

Say the daily affirmation out loud. Repeat 3 times in a row.

Mid afternoon

Say the daily affirmation in your head. Repeat 3 times in a row.

Evening

Set aside a minimum of 5 minutes to close your eyes and clam your mind.

In your head say the affirmation 3 times in a row.

Then visualise that you are looking and standing in front of yourself. Walk over and give yourself a hug.

Stand back and imagine a golden light glowing between your hearts connecting you together.

Fail proof tips:

Set your phone to remind you to say your affirmations’.

If you are at work, this practice will encourage you to take a lunch break and a green smoothie coffee break to say your affirmations.

When saying the affirmations out loud at work between mid morning and lunch, you don’t have to shout them. Go to a quiet area or bathroom and say them there.

I will be starting my program on Monday 6^th August and I hope you can join me. You can start any time and continue for a month from your start date.

As always I’d love to hear your thoughts on this!

Be kind to yourself,

Lisa x