Would You Like Salad With That Oil?

 

My old house mate was visiting his family about 1 hr north of me, and said we should catch up for lunch.

For most people, catching up with a friend whom you haven’t seen in a long time would be exciting, but for me it’s so much more.

Yes it’s exciting, but it’s also a nerve racking, skin scratching, panic making event that makes me want to hide in my well known wardrobe.

What will he say when he finds out I’m vegan?
What will he think of me when I say I can’t have a drink?
What will I wear!?
Will I explain to him that I’m in recovery?
Oh bloody hell, look at the state of my nails!
What if I get lost and crash on the way there?

I needed to calm down and I was overdue for a mani and pedi. Because there isn’t a vegan & cruelty free salon that I have seen (oh that’s a great business idea!) I decided to do my own mani and pedi . I bought cuticle scissors seeing as I have watched it being done many times before and it doesn’t exactly look like rocket science.

Anyway, as it turns out, it’s harder than rocket science and when performing such drastic measures, make sure tissues and band aids are on hand (no pun intended).

So after being reassured that I won’t die on the drive there and that I won’t be forced to eat meat, I said my dramatic goodbyes to my dog and hit the road.

I made it there safe and sound. I sometimes get in the habit of judging my thighs when I sit down so today I made sure I didn’t (you’re welcome, fellow drivers).

You see, although I am proud of being vegan, I do still stress over what people will think of me. So today I just tried to make my eating, not such a big deal. The game plan was to just shrug it off.

So when ordering lunch today, I asked him to order me a salad. When I did this I was thinking, god does he think I ordered this because of my ED?  Does ordering just a garden salad look typical?

I didn’t want any dressing on my salad, but I didn’t ask him to tell the waiter when he ordered because I didn’t want to seem fussy and a pain.

And this my friends is where I learnt my lesson.

So my salad was vegan – score. It was fresh -score. But it was smothered and swimming in oil.

A little bit of oil on my salad is okay but it was swimming and I am not comfortable with this.

I didn’t want to seem like a bother or be a pain so I put a confident smile on my face and acted like nothing was wrong and ate it.

When I got into my car and on the drive home, my heart was pumping pretty damn fast.

I know oil is good for you and I eat oily foods all day, every day, but I wasn’t ready for this..yet!

So although I didn’t cry, kick or scream at the restaurant (you’re welcome everyone) I did, however, feel crap all afternoon.

When I really think about it, I felt mostly crap because I didn’t speak up about what I wanted. I didn’t want to be an inconvenience, and I didn’t want to seem fussy. I felt embarrassed about asking for no dressing!

I realise now that the message I send to the universe is that I’m not worthy of what I want. This has to stop.

I shouldn’t have to apologise for being vegan and asking to leave out the cheese and if they could have the dressing on the side (please).

I need to work on being confident when asking for what I want. But geez it would be so much easier if everyone somehow knew what and when I wanted something!

 

As always your comments make me smile 🙂

Be kind to yourself,

Lisa x

Is It Necessary To Tell People Your Vegan?

When I was at the gym earlier this week doing tricep dips, my arms started to shake. I don’t usually shake so I sat up feeling a little defeated. The guy next to me said “You know what you need? Red meat. Loads of protein  to make you stronger”.

I instantly felt annoyed. Not because he didn’t read my mind to know I was vegan, but because of the protein obsession that marketers have created.

I then didn’t know how to react. How soon or necessary is it to tell people about your diet and lifestyle choices?

I ended up explaining to him why red meat is not my thing and that I eat plenty of protein (thank you very much!) via spirulina, nuts, legumes, beans, quiona, oats… the list goes on.

The confusion on his face was worth it, but I did wonder how necessary it is to tell people about the lifestyle choices we make.

Image if I arrived at a date’s house (without knowing him well) to find he has spent hours cooking a lamb roast and for me, only not to be able to eat it.

If I were in that situation should I take Kate Hudson’s advice in How to lose a guy in 10 days? Cry and tell him it’s beautiful but I just can’t eat meat? With soft sobs I would murmur “Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb”.

What if work colleagues were to surprise me with a birthday cake that wasn’t vegan. Surely they would feel disappointed.

When topics are related to nutrition, I find it easy to slip in our dietary choices, but meeting new friends and colleagues, nutrition isn’t something everyone is fascinated with, so it isn’t always talked about.

I did, however, have a work colleague ask me if I’d like some meat balls that she brought in. “I said no thanks, I’m vegan”. I pondered afterwards over if I really needed to say that. Perhaps in those situations I could have just said “No thank you, I don’t eat meat” or even just “No thank you”.

I personally think that it’s important for people to know your diet and lifestyle choices. Not only are our diet and lifestyle choices a big part of who we are, but it also helps others.

I have been in the situation where I have cooked a beautiful cake for a friend’s birthday then found out she was gluten intolerant.

We often eat together and although she never orders any bread or pasta, I didn’t assume she wasn’t eating these foods because she has an intolerance.

My friend said that the subject never came up and didn’t feel the need to tell everyone.

I have to agree with her on this. But it would have saved me the embarrassment of turning up with a gift she couldn’t accept.

I think that it is necessary for people to know your diet and lifestyle choices; it’s a part of who you are and it says so much about you.

The question is: How necessary and soon is it to tell people about your diet and lifestyle choices?

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this in the comment box below.

A Month That Will Be Remembered

To anyone who has taken the pledge to be involved in Dry July I give a big high five to you!

I am behind you and this cause 100%. For anyone who isn’t familiar with Dry July, It’s a month of being completely sober for a good cause (2 including your own health benefits from taking a month off the booze).

There are 2 main reasons why I back Dry July:

1) It helps raise money for adult cancer patients and their families
2) Personal reasons

Alcohol and I haven’t had a good history. I have never enjoyed drinking but I gave into peer pressure as I had a group of girlfriends that always went out and drank hard, I had a very social job that included a lot of nights out and a voice in my head telling me that if I didn’t drink like everyone else I’d be the girl that everyone thought was boring and I’d be talked about behind closed doors.

Every time I drank I’d regret it; so many terrible decisions I’ve made through being intoxicated and most were just dam straight stupid dangerous.

A couple of years ago I jumped at the idea of doing Dry July. “The best excuse ever for not drinking for a whole month!”. I thought everyone would comment on how thoughtful and inspiring my decision was to commit to Dry July and I also hoped others would follow.

Friends and colleagues certainly comment on my decision about being sober for a month but it wasn’t the response I expected. It was all negative comments about how boring I was being and that if I decided to go out and not drink I’d be embarrassing myself. My friends would say “Who comes out and just drinks water or soda, what are you, 12?”.

This is the part where I would love to tell you I was a hero and that I stood up for myself but instead I stood with a bunch of intoxicated people with a vino in my hand.

When it got to the point where I was so unhappy with myself and also because of the effects that drinking has on my mood, I realised I had hit rock bottom and I was destroying myself by trying to be someone who I wasn’t. I didn’t want to be known as the party girl anymore, I didn’t want any regrets or hangovers I just wanted to be my own authentic self.

I had to get completely honest with myself and the situation I was in by writing out the solutions to the problems.

Peer Pressure: If anyone puts pressure on you to drink or doesn’t respect your decision, they aren’t true friends and your better off finding new friends that support you.
Most of the time when people pressure you into something such as drinking, they do it because they are insecure about their own drinking habits. You do not have to be a part of someone else’s insecurities.

Night Life: Just because you don’t drink alcohol doesn’t mean you can’t go out and have a great time or feel like an outcast for not drinking. You would be surprised by how many people go out and choose not to drink. (Hint, they’re usually the fresher faced people that aren’t slobbering over the DJ for him to play a 90’s hit). These days a lot of bars have mocktails on their menus and if they don’t, most places are more than happy to whip you up an alcohol free cocktail.

Excuses: You should never feel like you have to give an excuse as to why you aren’t drinking.
Respect your decision and be proud that you are taking control of your health and wellbeing.
When you tell people that you don’t drink with a confident tone and body language people don’t question your decision. If you aren’t confident or make up an excuse on the spot they see that as an opportunity to pressure you into having just one drink (which usually means one bottle).

Strength: When you feel like giving in remind yourself of all the reasons why you gave up alcohol in the first place. Think about how drinking makes you feel at the time and also the next day.
The internet is a great way to start building a network of people that are feeling the same way you are and to reassure you that you are not alone.

I haven’t had a drink for nearly one year now it was the most rewarding decision I have made.

By giving alcohol up I have gained so much more in return.

I have met more friends that follow the same interests as me, I have gained more self confidence, my health and wellbeing has improved significantly, I have saved money by not having expensive nights out and having weekends to enjoy outside rather than in bed nursing a hangover.

Being the 1^st of July gives you the opportunity to take on the challenge of going alcohol free for a month.

You don’t need to sign up to Dry July, you can just make the decision to do this for your own health and wellbeing.

Question: What has been the longest period of time that you have given up alcohol for?